How much work and programming do you want to put into it?

There are ways to diy it. Can you or are you will to learn to program an arduino? They are the most cost effective. Are you willing to do some electrical and electronic tasks?

I believe all that you want can be diy'd. The flow may not be measuring flow rate, but you should be able to get flow confirmation. There also ways to have the system alert you of alarm conditions via text message, email, etc.