jokes and random funny stuff

[JCO]

You do know I'm Irish .... right? Then stop telling all our family secrets in public..

[Basil1]

You do know I'm Irish .... right? Then stop telling all our family secrets in public..

An Irishman walks out of a bar.......it could happen!

[urbanfarmer]

You do know I'm Irish .... right? Then stop telling all our family secrets in public..

An Irishman walks out of a bar.......it could happen!

[Basil1]

Ruger just announced a new pistol going on the market in honor of all Senators and Congressmen called "The Politician". It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

[keith_r]

Ruger just announced a new pistol going on the market in honor of all Senators and Congressmen called "The Politician". It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

and it can be bought!

[badflash]

But it doesn't stay bought!

[keith_r]

bought over and over and over..

[Basil1]

An old lady is sitting on her porch, sipping a glass a wine with her husband. She says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could live without you". Her husbands asks, " Is that you talking or the wine?"
"Me" she says, "talking to the wine"

[Basil1]

Three women died together in an accident and went to heaven.
When they got there, St. Peter said,
'We only have one rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!'

So they entered heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they tried their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally stepped on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman stepped accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says,

'I don't know about you,
but I stepped on a
Duck.

[davidstcldfl]