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  1. #1
    Moderator davidstcldfl's Avatar
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    The half-wit

    The Half-wit
    A man owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

    "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

    "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years.. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

    "The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

    "Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

    "That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the agent.

    "That would be me," replied the Rancher.

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." - President Ronald Reagan

  2. #2
    Moderator JCO's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    Da'...Which way did he go George....Which way did he go? OOOohhh Boy...I'm gonna' have a good time...yes I am...

    I use to love cartoons...REAL ONES..THAT IS..
    JCO
    Irish eyes are always smiling but
    • "In the eyes of the world, you are only as good as your last success"
    so never forget
    • "MAN IS ONLY LIMITED BY HIS IMAGINATION"

  3. #3
    Moderator stucco's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    Government Authority
    A rather cocky U.S. Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer in New Hampshire.
    He told the farmer, “I need to inspect your farm.” The old farmer said, “OK, but don’t go in that field right over yonder.”
    The DoA representative said, “Mister, I have the authority of the United States Government with me. See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”
    The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.
    Half an hour later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the DoA Rep running for his life. Close behind was the farmer’s prize bull, a huge animal with enormous horns. The bull was gaining on the government Rep with every step.
    The Rep was clearly terrified, so farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out:
    “Your badge! Your badge! Show him your badge!”
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.-- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
    Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought~fortune cookie

  4. #4
    Moderator badflash's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    When I first went to my mentor for training, he told me about how to make a million dollars in fish farming,.... Start with 2 million.
    The best fertilizer is the farmer's shadow

  5. #5
    Moderator davidstcldfl's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." - President Ronald Reagan

  6. #6
    Moderator stucco's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    Hey maybe one of the mods can turn this into a joke/funny pictures thread?
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.-- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
    Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought~fortune cookie

  7. #7
    Moderator JCO's Avatar
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    Re: The half-wit

    That's what the SUMP is for among other things
    JCO
    Irish eyes are always smiling but
    • "In the eyes of the world, you are only as good as your last success"
    so never forget
    • "MAN IS ONLY LIMITED BY HIS IMAGINATION"

  8. #8
    Moderator stucco's Avatar
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    jokes and random funny stuff

    This is the place for jokes, funny pictures and random humor. If you are easily offended you might want to cover your eyes.
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.-- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
    Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought~fortune cookie

  9. #9
    Moderator JCO's Avatar
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    Re: jokes and random funny stuff

    AWWwww come on Stucco...you aren't really going to post that graphic display of .... here, are you....
    JCO
    Irish eyes are always smiling but
    • "In the eyes of the world, you are only as good as your last success"
    so never forget
    • "MAN IS ONLY LIMITED BY HIS IMAGINATION"

  10. #10
    Moderator stucco's Avatar
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    Re: jokes and random funny stuff

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    Attached Images Attached Images
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.-- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
    Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought~fortune cookie

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