Dead Penguins

[jackalope]

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.


The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.


If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.


The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:


"freeze a jolly good fellow."


" Then they kick him in the ice hole."

credit melloe

[wolfracer]

lol Had me going!

[JCO]

I'm beginning to think he's just a sick puppy with a dry nose who can't even spell....It's not freeze...It's For He's....sheessss..! Sometimes I wonder what this younger generation is coming to. :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:

[JCO]

OH...yea...I'm not even for near the "Ice Hole" :mrgreen:

[badflash]

Did you hear the one about the guy that ran over himself?

He asked his wife to pick up a six pack from the corner store. She said she was too busy, so.....









Wait for it.... scroll down...





He ran over himself!

[JCO]

This is really getting bad....at least I had a time honored limerick :mrgreen:

[wolfracer]

If humor is the best measure of a man, then we are in trouble!

[JCO]

I'm with your wolfracer....let's blow this joint :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:

[badflash]

This is really getting bad....at least I had a time honored limerick :mrgreen:
You haven't a har on your youknow what :D
You didn't post any limerick I saw...
There was a young man from Karkass...
There was a young girl from Dalas...
There was an old guy from Kartoo...

Put up or shut up! :lol:

[JCO]

BadFlash,

Where have you been or is your mind slipping worse than mine?? :o

A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, originally popularized in English by Edward Lear, which intends to be witty or humorous, and is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

And below is the one that I posted and below it is a couple more for your purusal :shock:

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the flea, “let us fly."
Said the fly, “let us flee”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
note: (a flue is a chimney for those of you who don't remember)

another:

There was an old lady from Kent

Whose nose was badly bent.

She followed it one day

so they say,

and she hasn't been seen since.
(so where would you end up if you followed your nose :?: )

and yet another:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

In space that is quite economical,

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean, :o

And the clean ones so seldom are comical. :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:

[jackalope]

OK, OK, so you guys are now experts in English humor .... I gotta question for you ..... (This came from my step-father's English family .... many years ago - my step-dad told it to us when I was a little kid because his father told it to him when he was a little kid and he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard )

What's the difference between a good riddle and an elephant sitting on a sweet roll?

You've got 24 hours ........

[badflash]

I was thinking that you had posted that limerick in THIS thread.
Man, I was hoping you had some off-color ones, but since we are restricted, here is a clean one:

A mathematician confided
The Mobius Strip is one-sided
You'll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half
For it stays in one piece when divided.

If you don't know what a Mobius strip is, take a strip of paper about 1 foot long and an inch wide. Make a loop out of it but put a 1/2 twist in it before you tape the ends together. You have just created a 2 dimensional object. It has one surface and one side. If you cut it long ways all the way around you will bring it into the 3rd dimension. It will still be one big loop.

[JCO]

OK, I'm going to take my medication now and see if I can get on enough of a buzz on to actually say "OHoooo WOW man, that's far out...way cool dude or as they use to say on Laugh In "Sock it To Me" or "Berry Intawesting" (what da ya think??? pretty good German HUH? :mrgreen:

[badflash]

What's the difference between a good riddle and an elephant sitting on a sweet roll?

You've got 24 hours ........

I know what time it is! Time to get a new sweet roll. I know why they are the same. A good riddle is hard to get, and so is a sweet roll stuck to an elephant's butt.

How about when you figure out a riddle you say "I get it" and when an elephant sits on your sweet roll you say " I ain't getting that!"

[JCO]

I know a gal that lives on a hill, she won't do it, but her sister






wait for it





wait for it



patience





sometimes hangs around with Jack and he has been know to stagger from time to time an fall down and break his crown and Jill just stayed home and became an old maid.


Now tell me, did I get it right or what?? :mrgreen:

[jackalope]

OK, OK, I gave you long enuff ----- more than 24 hours - matter of fact I gave you almost a year and a quarter ...... (what's happened to the time???????)

What's the difference between a good riddle and an elephant sitting on a sweet roll?
One's a conundrum, and one's a bun-under-um!!
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So Much for English Humor being wasted on us Americans ;)

[JCO]

Man, I almost fell asleep waiting on the answer to that riddle :shock: :lol: :mrgreen:

[badflash]

Aw come on. Not even close.

What is the difference between a young nun and a whore in a bath tub?



....


One has a soul full of hope.... the other....

[jackalope]

Boy: "Dad, I got a role in the school play, I play a man who's been married for 20 years."

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Father: "That's great, son. Maybe someday you'll get a speaking part."

( Clik ;) (http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=213849) )

[davidstcldfl]

:lol: